Picture Question: What crazy thing is Kanye West going to do in the next week? Bonus points if he does it.
Round: Mild Expletives
There are two things I pretty much always think is funny. And that is ridiculous pet names and very low level exclamations. For instance, once I called someone “miene kliene wassermelon” which means my little watermelon in german. But today I will be focusing on the other thing.
One of the things my grandma always says is “oh my stars” it cracks me up everytime. What is the smallest type of star in the universe?
Red Dwarf (Face Down- Red Jumpsuit Aparatus)
I lately have taken to saying “oh boy” which is a thing that I like to use to express extreme shock. What was the most popular name for baby boys in 2015?
Jackson (PYT- Michael Jackson)
“Donnerwetter” is something you say in German, mostly if you are an old Austrian person. It mens thunder weather. What is thunder?
Vibration in the air due to lightning (Hurry-Air Traffic Controller)
“Oh jeez” is another great way to barely get around the curse filters. What is jeez a bastardization of?
Jesus (Jesus of Suburbia- Green Day)
I also like using mild curse words. What, according to Carlin are the words you can never say on TV?
Shit (Country Grammar (Hot Shit)- Nelly)
Piss (Kiss From a Rose- Seal)
Fuck (HYFR Hell Yeah Fucking Right- Drake, Lil Wayne)
Cunt
Cocksucker (Rock Your Body- Justin Timberlake)
Motherfucker (The Mother We Share- Churches)
Tits
The Oscars
Despite the fact that The Academy Awards have been around for the better part of a century, there has been only one person named Oscar to win an Oscar. Who was it?
Oscar Hammerstein II (U Can’t Touch This - MC Hammer)
Oscar isn’t just an award, it’s also a letter in the NATO phonetic alphabet. You know, the one pilots use to talk to each other over the radio when there is a lot of other noise, it goes Alfa, Bravo, Charlie, Delta, Echo, and so on. What word represents H, the 8th letter of the alphabet?
Hotel (Hotel California - The Eagles)
Oscar Meyer is another famous Oscar that has nothing to do with the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. They do a lot of fun things involving vehicles and catchy jingles. They also have an app called Sizzl, what is there app for?
A dating app for bacon lovers (First Date - Blink-182)
I believe that I have mentioned before that I am a Cubs fan, and as such I love a good loser. There have been two films to be nominated for 11 Academy Awards and not win any, the most nominations without winning. Name me one.
The Turning Point (1977) and The Color Purple (1985) (Purple Haze - Jimi Hendrix)
Winning an Oscar is great, but to really cement your name in history you have to EGOT, win an Emmy, a Grammy, and Oscar, and a Tony. 12 people have done it in competitive categories, name me five.
Richard Rodgers
Helen Hayes
Rita Moreno (More Than a Feeling - Boston)
John GielgudAudrey Hepburn
Marvin Hamlisch
Johnathan Tunick
Mel Brooks (No Sleep til Brooklyn - The Beastie Boys)
Mike Nichols
Whoopi Goldberg (Whoop (There it is) - Tag Team)
Scot Rudin (Rude - MAGIC!)
Robert Lopez (On the Floor - Jennifer Lopez)
Round: Leap Year
wow, leap year again. it’s almost like it has been four years since the last one. There are all sorts of different traditions around leap year and I’m gonna talk about some of them.
One of them, if that shitty romantic comedy “Leap Year” is to believed is women proposing instead of men. You apparently get fined a silk dress if you don’t accept, and I could really use a new dress. So watch out, gentlemen. Who started this tradition?
Queen Margaret of Scotland/ St. Bridget (Bye Bye Birdie- Ann Margret)
JaRule- Leap year baby. feud with 50 cent. Most successful 50 cent song?
In Da Club (Love in this Club- Usher Jeezy)
What is the star sign of those born Feb 29?
Pisces (Nicely Done- Wild party)
pirates of Penzance- in service till 63. Most successful pirate of all time?
Cheng I Sao (Right Thurr- Chingy)
Sports that have been at all summer olympics
Athletics ( track and field events, road running events, and racewalking events) (Borrowed Time- Athletes in Paris)
Cycling (Cycle of Nightmares- E Dubble)
Fencing (Fences- Phoenix)
Gymnastics (Stereo Hearts- Gym Class Heros)
Swimming (Swimming Pools- Kendrick Lamar)
Spring Training
Spring training started this week for all you baseball fans out there, and for the rest of you, I am sorry you lead such pitiful lives without baseball. You get to see some really fun stuff during spring training, like last year when Will Ferrell played for 10 different teams in one day, why did he do this?
Raise money for Cancer(Cancer - My Chemical Romance)
Spring training also means the official start of spring, even if it is still February. It looks awful spring like down in Florida and Arizona. The Vernal Equinox is more than a month away, so we still have some time left though. What does vernal, as in vernal equinox, mean?
Spring, from the Latin (Bruce Springsteen, Thunder Road)
When I think spring I also think Springtime For Hitler, that beloved classic musical farce. Springtime for Hitler is a musical within what other musical?
The Producers (Prodigal Son - The Rolling Stones)
Spring means Easter and Easter means eggs. Who made the most expensive egg ever sold?
Faberge (Can’t Buy Me Love -The Fab Four)
One of the other perks of Spring Training is you get to see all the athletes rolling up in their ridiculous cars. I saw one today that had only three wheels and I really didn’t understand it. Name me five of the top 10 most stolen cars of 2014
10. Nissan Maxima
9. Acura Integra
8. Nissan Altima (Dear Maria, Count Me in - All Time Low)
7. Dodge Caravan (Carry on Wayward Son - Kansas)
6. Dodge Pickup (Full Size)
5. Toyota Camry (Camera - Wiz Khalifa)
4. Chevrolet Pickup (Full Size)
3. Ford Pickup (Full Size) (Kings of Leon - Pickup Truck)
2. Honda Civic
1. Honda Accord (According to You - Orianthi)
Picture winner:
League Standings
Sexiest Ladies in Keno - 42
Lost Profits - 40
Nacho Weincruz - 40
The Team Whose Name I Can't Pronounce - 40
Dead Last - 35
We Love Sports Friends (And We Don't Care Who Knows it) - 33
Gravity Falls Harder Than My GPA - 32
The Notorious RBG - 31
Lizard Squad -28
Faith + 1 - 18
The Late Arrivals - 13
Calder's Team Name is Lame (2016) - 11
D$ - 7
Crunchy Roll - 2
Pampered Lil pups - 1
Cool Rummings - 1
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